scraps & lagniappe

give thanks banner

Sometimes I remind myself that years ago this started out as a scrapbooking blog.

I made a Thanksgiving banner today with the "help" of the kids.  I let them ink edges.  I'm not crazy, I'm not letting have all the fun.  It says "give thanks" and I used all sorts of stuff on it: Basic Grey letters, Prima flowers, Jenni Bowlin bingo card and notepaper, and a lot of ink and Tim Holtz crackle paint.

on illness, death, and things that are generally not awesome

I've been semi-MIA the past few days, here's why:

Last Thursday my scrapbook peeps and I went to a cabin in the swamp/woods to hang and crop.  This was not my idea.  I am not remotely what you would call "outdoorsy."  I'm allergic to everything and I have asthma and I don't like insects, but I like my friends, so I went.  It was our own little retreat and I have to say, I had more fun in the cabin than at any retreat I've been to and believe me, I've been to a bunch.  So, yeah, we were in a cabin with air conditioning and running water and all, but it was still roughing it as far as I was concerned.  Frugal Beth and I arrived to see we would have to bring our bags up fairly steep stairs.  Now, this was a scrapbooking trip and we had my minivan (maxifun) packed to full capacity with scrapbook bags, plastic 12x12 organizers, ice chest, overnight bags, bags of snacks and beverages, pizzas, and a tray of Triple Dippers from Chili's.  If we ever do the cabin-thing again, we're getting one with a ramp (and bringing more southwestern eggrolls 'cause them was delicious).  

On the way to the cabin Beth and I talked about how sad Farrah's death was, then said I said "well, you know how celebrities deaths come in threes.  Ed McMahon, now Farrah."  And for some reason after that, I checked Facebook on my iPhone (no, I'm not obsessed) to see everyone's status updates read something like this: OMG WTF Michael Jackson is dead?!?!?

I am nothing if not resourceful, and went to Google news where I found a plethora of contradicting headlines from CNN, AP, Reuters, and every news organization known to man.  This just wouldn't do.  Beth and I had to know the truth before we were smack dab in the middle of gatorland, where we feared there would be no television or wifi.  At that point I realized the person my friends rely on for pop culture information is me and there is no one to call to confirm this story.  Sad, isn't it?  I called Melissa, who had not left for the swamp yet, and she said MJ was in the hospital and of course moments later I check CNN again they're saying he's gone.  We arrived at the cabin, where Megan was already scrapbooking (I know, the nerve!) and watching -- get this -- Friends on the flat screen.  Beth and I bust out with "how can you be watching Friends at a time like this?!  Michael Jackson's dead!"   Seriously. 

And so began the Michael Jackson Death Watch weekend.  Heartwarming, isn't it?

.......

Saturday I tried to post layouts to the blog on the iPhone, but got a message from Typepad saying my account was put on hold because something was wrong with billing my credit card.  Okay, so I got a new debit card and forgot to update my info, whatev. 

Sunday I made it home to see that Billy Mays had died and decided something very strange was going on in the universe.  That afternoon a mucho tired me took the almost 6 year-old, her big sis, two friends, and my bud Frugal Beth (mom of one of the friends) to the circus, as if I don't have a three-ring circus at my house.  Please.  And I nearly twisted my ankle on a New Orleans sidewalk.  Imagine that.

Monday afternoon I noticed five or so red streaks on my right heel going up my ankle and two of the streaks going up my calf.  I'm not a doctor, but I thought this was bad and with the way people are dying lately, I thought about having a will drawn up.  Shortly after that, I started feeling pretty bad and researched the streak-thing online which made it sound like I was very near death or at least getting ready for an emergency room visit.  Then I talked to a couple of friends in the medical field about it (shout out to my peeps), and by the end of the night was pretty sure I wasn't dying.  And pretty sure is good enough for me. 

Tuesday I woke up feeling like death on a bad day.  I was positive I'd be sitting on a cloud learning the harp with Elvis by nightfall (totally kidding, Elvis is still alive).  I know everyone has different thoughts about what heaven will be like.  I've read what the Bible has to say on the subject several times, but I like to think Fred Astaire is giving dancing lessons and Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon do a nightly talk show. 

Yesterday afternoon I felt a little better and started writing this very post. 

Now it's Thursday night and I'm nearly 100%.  Streaks have faded, energy is back, and I didn't need a nap this afternoon. 

Here's the thing, being sick is not enjoyable.  I spent a good portion of this week trying to rest.  Yes, I said trying.  For those of you without children or just one child, let me paint a picture for you.  I will be your Bob Ross, minus the afro. 

It's 9am, I'm in bed.  Katie is standing next to my bed asking what's for breakfast.  My hubs is sitting with his laptop at the kitchen table.  I tell her to ask her daddy.  Next comes Molly asking if they can go swimming.  I tell her to ask her daddy.  Katie returns, says her daddy told her to wait until he's finished sending an email.  Andrew enters the room with no Pull-Up or undies on, jumps on my bed and asks for cookies.  At this point I get up.  Later that afternoon I attempt a nap.  Exactly three minutes after I get comfy, here comes Katie asking if they can play upstairs.  Next the hubs asks where his iPod is.  Now, I do not use his iPod.  Where in the marriage vows does it say "I will find everything you lose" for the rest of my life?  For realz.  Next it's Andrew saying he can't find MollyKatie (he's reduced them to one name).  Then Molly comes in, asking when their daddy is taking them to swim and can she wear her tennis shoes instead of her flip flops.  Out of nowhere Katie pops up, says Molly won't play upstairs and wants a snack.  The hubs returns, says he's taking the kids swimming.  The kids all go nuts and run out of the room, only to return seconds later asking where 42 things are. 

.......

Sunday marks the beginning of Kerry's Crazy July, with our anniversary and Katie's birthday, followed by my berfday, then Andrew's, and the hubs at the end of the month.  It's about this time every year when I remind myself that Katie was due in June and had she been born then, it would have lessened my July stress.  I mean, come on. 

1st layout from the swamp

This is Molly's bubble gum layout and Ill have take a better pic when I get back to da house.

put down the glue gun

Y'all know I am nothing if not crafty, but lately I have seen a few things that go beyond craft and down a road not only less-traveled, but perhaps the road to crazy craft town.  Do you know what I'm talking about?  I don't mean the things your wonderful child brings home from school that's made with love (and glitter and popcicle sticks and macaroni) that you can in no way figure out what it's supposed to be.  Is it an ashtray?  Is it a trivet?  Do I hear coaster?  NO, I'm referring to the crafts that no one needs. 

I'm thinking you need a visual.  

 

When I saw this photo of the First Lady at Westminster Abbey, I thought, "interesting.  I have that ric rac and trim in my scrapbook bag."  For realz.  Poor Michelle looks like she fell into one of my scrapbooking bags and came out with a skirt.  And she's wearing two cardigans.  Two.  Now, I read that the tunic is designer.  And just when I was going to call Mrs. O and tell her to put down the glue gun.  Yeah, it's by Australian designer Richard Nicoll.  That reminds me, I'm launching my new clothing line this fall.  It will be very earth-friendly, as all clothing will be made from recycling embellishments from my scrapbook stuff.  I will also feature a line of monogrammed cardigans with all the letters I have left after spelling titles.  The cardigans will be a big hit with those of you with names that start with Q, V, W, and Z. 

Speaking of recycling, I never know what to do with all my leftover felt and I'm always thinking of practical gifts for friends, but never did I think the two would meet.  Lo and behold, my latest Etsy find: Owl Pasties!  No, I'm not kidding.  They're called "Check Out My Hooters" and here's the description: Bedroom Beauties pasties are a hoot as bachelorette party gifts (trust me), and guys love them (trust me). Bring out your inner burlesque beauty and show off those girls!

Wait a damn minute.  Guys love them?  There are men who get all hot and bothered by owls?  Oh hell no.  Now I have a new reason to count my blessings everyday -- that I didn't marry a man with an owl fetish. 

I may be going out on a limb here, but hell, if I don't say it who will?  It's time to stop with the trophy heads.  Now, I've never been a fan of the taxidermy trophy head hanging in a den or an office -- I think it's creep city.  My father-in-law had alligator heads in their old house and decorated the deer heads for Christmas and I just can't go along with that.  Plus the alligator heads were freaky -- they were upstairs and sat at the doorway of his office, so when I saw them I'd think, "oh crap, alligators!  oh crap, how did they climb the stairs?!" 

Anytaxidermy, I've noticed something of a phenomenon lately called Modern Trophies.  They may be made of felt or other fabrics or in this case, resin and paper.  The big boy to our right may be the best yet -- a moose made with Amy Butler paper (I know, I have the scrapbook paper).  I'm so confused and torn.  I can't decide if it's a horrible craft gone wrong or a really awesome way to hang my handbags in my bedroom.  Sure, it goes against every fiber of belief I have that animal heads do not belong on walls, but I'm kinda loving the moose.  And I'm not against hunting, I'm just against hanging the dead things inside.  I would have to put some big fake eyelashes on the moose if I bought it.  Oh well. 

I'm ending this post with the find that inspired it.  I found it on Craftgossip.com and when I saw the photo I must have stared at it, mouth agape, for 10 minutes.  There were several reasons for the staring --

1. there are some crazy ass people in this world.
2. seriously, wtf?
3. never have I thought, "oh, that would make a great finger puppet!"
4. so, this is what you would wear for special occasions?
5. definitely much better with crystals.
6. it could do without the eyes.
7. stop staring at me.

Okay, first things first -- no, it's not real. 

Yes, it is what you think it is.

Yes, it is a finger puppet. 

No, I don't think it's available for purchase

No, I don't know how Stacyrebecca made it.

Yes, The Kerry Blog has sunk to a new low. 

the girl's loft

Have I told you how much I love Margie Romney-Aslett? 

Margie was one of the instructors at the Scrap Etc. event my peeps and I went to in Hotlanta and we decided she's our new bff.  The woman is made of fabulous and is creative out the wazoo.  Margie is a former Making Memories line designer (how awesome is that) and she designed one of my fave lines of all time, Noteworthy.  Please, she's superfantastic.  You know I don't toss that word around lightly. 

At Scrap Etc., Margie told us she was starting a new endeavor with her daughters, but couldn't give us details then.  Well, guess what?  She and her girls went and started The Girl's Loft, a kit club that will debut in June.  Knowing Margie's work,  I couldn't be more excited.  At this moment, Margie is running a contest on her blog for a giveaway of a 6 month membership to The Girl's Loft if you link to her blog from your blog, Facebook, or Twitter.  So, here's hoping I win.  Y'all check out The Girl's Loft and sign up on June 15th when the first kit debuts. 

Oh, yeah, here's Margie and me rockin' our aprons at Scrap Etc.  Shut up.  It's almost too much fantabulous for one picture. 

 

buzz buzz

Dude, it's been a busy week for the queen bee.  We got back from Atlanta Sunday evening and I started working to finish the ScrapFest! website for the re-launch.  I had Andrew's speech evaluation Monday (which I had totally forgotten about until Sunday night), Mother's Day gifts to buy, gifts to mail, and the re-launch this week.  The website takes up a ton of my time at two points during the months leading up to the event -- right now being one of them, getting the whole damn thing changed, colors, background, fonts, dates, the PayPal store, and all the Photoshop that goes with that.  All of the elements were created in Photoshop I learned a few new tricks for making things like the torn notepaper and the new scalloped menu buttons.  I'm pleased.  Last weekend at ScrapEtc. we took a class from the fabulous Jessica Sprague and I got the chance to ask her some Photoshop questions, which for a self-taught girl like myself, that was a great experience.  I so wish when I had started working with da Shop I knew about Jessica's online classes.  She has lovely classes that teach digital/hybrid scrapbooking using Photoshop Elements and they are fantastic.  If you're interested in learning from one of the masters, visit her site, you'll be glad you did. 

And so, we're off to Houston for the weekend for some time with the hubs.  We'll be heading to Kemah tomorrow for Boardwalk fun with the munchkins and good food.  Scott said he wants to go to Joe's Crab Shack, but I'm thinking the kids would love The Aquarium.  I would much rather go to Caddilac for Mexican food because I'm trying to stretch Cinco de Mayo to include the entire month. 

Here's a sneek peek at the new ScrapFest! site.  Y'all have a fab weekend and a wonderful Mother's Day. 

Georgia on my mind

When I heard Scrap Etc.'s event was going to be held in Atlanta, I knew I wanted to go.  Atlanta is one of my favorite places.  The hubs and I lived north of Atlanta when we were newlyweds back in 1997-98 in Gwinnett County.  It was a great place to live and we had heaps of fun each weekend exploring the area. 

This weekend some of my favorite peeps and I will be exploring the Crowne Plaza Resort for Scrap Etc.'s "Wishful Thinking: the art of creating memories."  I couldn't  be more excited to be spending the weekend with my girlfriends (even the fabulous Lisa is meeting us all the way from Connecticut) and we will see lots of scrapbooking friends we've made over the years.  This event is much different from ScrapFest! in the way that we will be in classes from 9am 'til 5:30 each day with cropping at night.  Most of us are used to the open-crop sort of retreats, so we're hoping to learn fun new techniques from some of the best in the industry. 

We're also hoping to get some good shopping in on this trip as well.  Can I tell you how much I love Phipps Plaza and Lennox Square?  Bloomingdale's, Nieman Marcus, Kate Spade, Louis Vuitton, Crate & Barrel (my favorite), Burberry, Nordstrom, Vera Bradley, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Tiffany & Co.  Y'all.  Oh, and Teavana -- it's like tea heaven.  Love that.  And Perimeter Mall is close to our hotel, where there is a Nordstrom, so I may have to get the Mrs. Robinson dress.  And we can get an Orange Julius too.  Is there anything better than a scrapbooking weekend, fab shopping, and an Orange Julius?  Okay, dinner at The Melting Pot.  I'm pretty sure we're going for some fondue.  It's going to be a good weekend. 

Check out Scrap Etc.'s site to see the instructors and their blogs for some creative inspiration.

scrappy Saturday

I'm in a mood.  I couldn't really tell you why, I'm just in a mood, pick your reason.  So, I went up to my happy place -- the scrap/office and took pictures of some of my fave layouts from a couple of years ago that I came across while trying to organize.  The key word there is trying.  I think I need a big giant scanner for my scrapbook pages.  The scrap/office is almost complete, I need to hang a few more things and organize, but I thought you might enjoy a pic of the "in progress" stage. 

 This is a really simple layout I did for Molly's 6th birthday.  The photos were grainy, but I liked the look.  I filled one of the Heidi Swapp hearts with beads and liked the way it turned out. 

Katie is our middle child.  She is moody, serious, funny, wacky, sweet, and mean and I have no idea where all that comes from.  One day at McDonalds all those facets came out and I photographed her.  The paper I used is from Basic Grey's Blush line.

I'm only putting this one up to show y'all the cat that ran away.  This layout pretty much sucks -- I've never liked it because it's themey and I hate themey scrapbooking, but whatev.  Tinkerbell was Molly's cat we adopted when Andrew was born and the cat was full-on crazy.  Her favorite thing to do was to jump out and bite you when you turned a corner.  Seriously.  Tinkerbell was psycho.  I had two really great cats prior to getting this one, so I was not prepared for the cat from hell.  One day about 6 months ago, she jumped out and bit Molly and I threw the cat outside, like I had done a dozen times.  She always meowed for a while and I'd let her back in, well this time, she hit the road, never to be seen again.  I'm sure some poor family took her in and she's terrorizing them now. 

This is a layout I did at least two years ago, before the doodling thing in scrapbooking really took off.  I've always been a pioneer (in my own mind).  The flower stems are some of the lyrics to "My, How You've Grown" by 10,000 Maniacs.

"'My, how you've grown.' I remember that phrase from my childhood days too. 'Just wait and see.' I remember those words and how they chided me, when patient was the hardest thing to be. Because we can't make up for the time that we've lost, I must let these memories provide.
I should have known. At your age, in a string of days the year is gone. But in that space of time, it takes so long."

More scrapbooky stuff to come, as it's uncovered in due time.

new theme song

If you're anything like me (which is possibly the most ridiculous statement I've ever made), you have a theme song. 

A personal theme song for is quite the necessary accessory for your day, your week, your life.  If you do not have a theme song, I suggest you go out an get one right this minute.  But Kerry, I don't know what my theme should be, you say -- well, I'm here to help, peeps. 

Your personal theme song should reflect how you feel or how you want to feel, your attitude, or your beliefs.  Or it could be that a song with lyrics that seem like they were written just for you.  Everyone has had a moment when a song comes on the radio and you're blown away by the words.  Say, if your name is Ruby and you're cheating on your spouse who happens to be a disabled veteran -- your theme song could be "Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town," by Kenny Rogers, recently covered by The Killers.  There is no judging on the Kerry Blog, only love.  And helping others.  And sarcasm.  And maybe a a wee little bit of judging, but it's only because I care. 

Just for fun, I thought I'd share my theme song with you and all of the interwebs this weekend.  It's always been Adam Ant's "Goody Two Shoes" for me, since forever. 

I love that song.  Which reminds me, I still haven't gotten those leather leggings and gun holster of piratecowboy.com I ordered a few weeks ago.  While Adam Ant always wore more makeup and used more hair products than me, his song has played in my head through lots of moments of my life.  After all, I've been Miss Goody Two Shoes forever and wear the crown gladly.  By the way, "subtle innuendos follow, must be something inside" is the line everyone can't make out. 

It's also helpful to have theme songs for specific activities, trips, and such.  As of last night I have a new theme song for scrapbook trips courtesy of my friend Laurel who introduced me to the fabulousness that is Leslie Hall.  This is the song that Laurel listens to while she gets ready to go out, because that's what the song is about, but because of a few lines, I'm declaring it the new scrapbooking trip song.  Peeps, I give you "How We Go Out."

Simply awesome.

The lyrics I'm loving are:

On the way to the club we pass a Dairy Queen
You stop cause it you know it means so much to me
We take the back seats out of your mini van
Now we roll like a hummer or a full size sedan

obviously that would be because we have to take the back seats out of my van when we go on a trip.  And thought we don't usually stop at a Dairy Queen on the way, we do stop somewhere for goodies.

You get me hotter than a stick a hot glue
And I'm scrapbooking everything we do
Ring ring ring- that's my cell
Bring the bling when I sing of course I will

FINALLY!  A hip hop song that talks about scrapbooking!  Now my life is complete. 

You may return to your regularly scheduled weekend. 

well, this post went to hell in a handbasket

EDIT:  just to let you know, when I'm angry I use lots of punctuation, yes, more than usual.  If you don't mind that, continue on.

Friends and peeps, I spent a good while last night and practically all morning documenting for the blog the ridiculosity that was our scrapbook trip to Pearl and guess what?  When I took Molly and Andrew (who are home sick today) to grab lunch (because we have no food in our house unless you count condiments and popcorn and one papaya) and guess what should happen when I get back to the hizzouse?  I lost the post.  Damn interwebs connection on the Google machine went out for probably 10 seconds and -- because I obviously can't learn from past mistakes -- the post was gone.  Join me in this one -- arrrrrrghhhhH! I blame Al Gore.

When I discovered the post was gone, the almost 8 year-old in the house, Molly, informed me that I said an "S Category Word"  whatever the hell that means.  Because she was in the room, I said "stupid computer" which is a helluva lot nicer than what I was thinking and because I'm relatively civilized I won't write those thoughts at this time. 

So, I will partially tell the tale of our trip in pictures, since I in no way have the patience to rewrite the entire post, which I assure you, was the stuff Pulitzer dreams of; although it was longer than Gone With The Wind because the trip was the stuff of legend.

Here's what you need about the trip (think of it as the Cliff's Notes version): we went to check-in to our hotel at midnight last Thursday night, the front-desk dude was not there and after over an hour of looking for another hotel, we returned to the Sleep Inn to be greeted by Mr. Pornstache who resembled a chubby Freddie Mercury of Frugal Beth's favorite band, Queen.  If you happen to see Frugal Beth while you're out and about be sure to sing "We Are the Champions," she hearts that song.  Oh, and I fell down in the parkinglot because I am a superstar.

Anystache, it was around 1:30 am when  we got to our room. 

Onto our next photo.  The battery in my Scrapmobile (kind of like the Batmobile, but with pink tools that could very well be used as weapons) died and Meg'n and I had to go get a new battery for the thing.  Because girl likes to shop, I picked up this little beauty for the rear view mirror. It's superfantastic except for when the sun hits it just right and the reflected light burns your retinas.  

On Friday night Meg, Lori, and I retired to our luxurious room and discoverd a sign to the left of our door we'd missed previously because of the sheer anger of the night before. 

The small sign pointing to our room reads "snack vending machine."  I assure you, our room was not a vending machine, although we did have gum in our purses. 

We were past the point of delirious at midnight when we saw the sign.  I told the girls that I then knew why there were quarters stuck under the door that morning and drunk people kept banging on the door in the middle of the night yelling "gimme my damn Andy Capp Hot Fries!  Where are the effing Kit Kats?!" 

So, that in 3 photos sums up the trip.  From now on when I think of Pearl, those images will come to mind. 

Oh, and by the way, by what I believe to be the intervention of Jesus, we did not make the wrong turn we've made on 2 previous occassions and end up at the Turkey Creek Water Park -- just in case you were keeping score at home.