scraps & lagniappe

in which I rant about horse movies

 

Every time I see this trailer for War Horse, I think they're saying War Whores, which would be the best movie of all time. I'm telling you, I've started the rough draft of my screenplay, War Whores, and it's going to win every award that has a carpet. 

Why does Hollywood keep making horse movies? In the past 10 or 15 years, there have been a plethora of horse movies because everyone loves horses, I guess. I'm allergic to them, so I couldn't care less.

First there was The Horse Whisperer, where Robert Redford whispers to horses. That was more boring that the conversations that go on during a gynecological exam. In fact, I'm writing that script too. Then there was Seabiscuit, where Spiderman was a jockey and The Dude was someone else who wasn't the jockey because he was too tall. Then there was Secretariat (Seabiscuit 2) with Freaking John Malkovich because people can't get enough of horse movies with people that resemble horses. Next Hillary Swank and Sarah Jessica Parker will star in My Little Pony: The Movie as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. 

And the horse in War Horse is named Joey, which is a name for a kangaroo. Everyone knows that. You know who's playing the horse? Some horse. Like you would know who the horse was. You know who's directing it? Steven Freaking Spielberg. Really. Guess he likes horses. I blame him that I keep thinking they're saying War Whores in the trailer. 

Nevermind, I may ask him to direct my screenplay.

30 day movie challenge -- day 5: favorite action

Ok, my favorite action movie is awesome. You can stack it up against whatever action movie you think is awesome and you will lose because -- Point Break, brah.

Things you should know: I cannot stand Keanu Reeves, but he's actually good in this. I don't care anything about surfing, but it's integral to the plot. Patrick Swazye jumps out of a plane. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are in it. It's the only movie I know of with surfers who dress up as former presidents and rob banks. 

 

Sunday rewind: PSB

Is it just me or could today use some Pet Shop Boys? That's what I thought. And no, these songs are not just '80s, as Pet Shop Boys are timeless.

My Pet Shop Boys were doing mash-ups long before the word "mash-up" was thought of. "Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off of You)" is fabulous. And not just because I think I was a Las Vegas showgirl in a former life.

 

 

Next is the song with possibly my favorite title of all time, "You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk."

 

 

Most of my favorite song titles are PSP songs titles.  Here's another one: "I Don't Know What You Want, but I Can't Give it Anymore."

Pet Shop Boys - I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give
Uploaded by zocomoro. - See the latest featured music videos. 

 

Finally, it's the remix of "Always on My Mind/In My House."  I've always liked the synthesizers in the remix better than the original cover of "Always on My Mind."  Oh, and Neil does this spoken-word rap thing that's just great. And only in the remix does he sing "maybe I didn't love you" at the end of song -- because that's what you want in a love song.  

 

Here is the spoken-word part: 

You were always on my mind thats true
I never thought of any-one else but you
You were on my mind and in my dreams
I should have stopped to make you see
You were always

I worked so hard I thought you knew
My love I did it all for you
I never really had the time
I guess you couldn't read my mind
You were always

 

And that is how we do Pet Shop Boys on Sunday.  

 

reality bites

I watched Reality Bites this weekend and was reminded that the movie easily had the best soundtrack of any movie in the '90s.  Yes -- any.  With old and new music from Squeeze, The Juliana Hatfield Three, Crowded House, World Party, and Lisa Loeb, the soundtrack was both fresh and familiar and it rocked.  

For your entertainment, here are my favorites off the Reality Bites soundtrack.  The songs are about wanting. That's pretty clear.  If you remember the movie, you know that was a theme as well, beautifully supported by the music.  All of these are on my iPod and they would be a good addition to yours as well.

 

"Tempted" is in my top five of favorite songs of all time, so it's up first. 

 

Juliana Hatfield is just fantastic.  This is a great one and I've still never heard anything quite like this song. The video is from my old MTV favorite, "120 Minutes."

 

 

Do y'all remember World Party?  They had the song "Put the Message in the Box."  "When You Come Back to Me" is just as good. 

 

 

Lisa Loeb has two songs on the soundtrack, "Stay" and "Fools Like Me."  I've always loved "Fools Like Me."

 

 

Crowded House is simply fantastic.  Here is "Locked Out."

 

And lastly, because I couldn't find a video for this song, I made an MP3 for you of Me Phi Me's "Revival!"  This is the mad note. This is the song playing when Ben Stiller's character drives up next to Winona Ryder at the red light.  Good stuff. 

Take a dip and revive yourself.

12 Revival!

This may be one of my favorite posts I've done.  Love the Reality Bites.

 

you can't fool me, Sean Penn

Can we just talk about this action for a second?

Sean Penn is shooting the lead in a movie called This Must Be The Place, about a rock star who hunts down an ex-Nazi war criminal who tortured his father in Auschwitz and haunts his remaining days. Penn in drag and the Holocaust?  Say whaaa?

He needs a better make-up artist.  

movies about tunes you need Tuesday: Spinal Tap

Spinal Tap is one of my favorite movies.  It's all kinds of hilarious.  It's a faux-documentary that follows the faux rock band Spinal Tap on tour.  If you've never seen it, then shame on you - you need to watch it right now. If you haven't seen it in a while, watch it right now.

Here are the credits.  

I bet you didn't know that St. Hibbins was the patron saint of sensible footwear.

sunday rewind: personal favorites

I thought I'd take a break from the usual today and not focus on one particular band and do something which allows me to show you videos from bands who may have only had one hit or songs I just love and want to show you again.  There are bunches that fit in the latter category.  These are the songs that no matter what - when they come on my '80s iTunes playlist make me extremely happy.  Some of the songs you will know, some may be knew to you.  Enjoy my favorite beautiful '80s tunes.

First up, Joe Jackson's "Steppin' Out."  Lovely.  

10,000 Maniac's "Like the Weather" has been one of my all-time favorites since 1987.  I played this record OUT.  Yes, I said record, as in vinyl.  

Flock of Seagulls.  Oh my God, shut up.  "Space Age Love Song" is just beautiful.  Perfect song.

I love The Thompson Twins.  "If You Were Here" simply makes me melt.  That's what I said.  

The Rave-Ups' "Positively Lost Me" is brilliant.  Nothing less than brilliant.  I've written about this song before -- probably write about it again, but to me -- this list of miscellaneous items she lost when she left, then the line "you lost my face, you lost my laugh, and then you lost my confidence" is fantastic.  

Another song that was in Pretty in Pink, "Bring On the Dancing Horses" by Echo and the Bunnymen.  Fab.

Here is "Pictures of You," my favorite song by The Cure.  It's hauntingly beautiful, a song of lost love and heartbreak.  

And for your '80s leftover, barely missing the cut by being released in January 1990, it's The Sundays with "Here's Where the Story Ends."  This is such a beautiful song.  Harriet's voice is unlike any other and I do not understand why her band did not take off like gangbusters.  They were wonderful.  If you've ever heard their cover of the Rolling Stones "Wild Horses," you know what I mean.

sunday rewind: Split Enz

I was reminded of one of my faves this week by a post about Neil Finn on a friend's Facebook wall and it dawned on my that I haven't featured Split Enz on the '80s Sunday Rewind.  My omission is your Sunday treat.  

New Zealand's Split Enz is a difficult band to describe, but I'll try.  Their 1970s era would best be described as progressive rock (think early Genesis with Peter Gabriel) when Tim Finn when was the front man, then Tim's brother Neil took over front man duties and the band received critical acclaim as a new wave band from 1980 until their break-up in 1984.  I'm not a progressive rock girl, so we're going to explore the new wave Neil Finn-led version of the Enz today.

And because Neil Finn is one of the cutest front men ever.  You'll remember Neil from Crowded House.  Love me some Crowded House, don't you?

The Neil Finn era of the Enz started with the album True Colours and was quite a departure from their previous work.  This era of the Enz coincided with the birth of MTV and the two were a perfect pair - let's go to the videos!

"Message to My Girl" from 1984 is my second favorite Enz song, probably because it sounds a good bit like Crowded House.

"I Walk Away" is the last single from the Enz from the album See Ya 'Round - appropriate titles, don't you think?  Oh, and you'll see the late Paul Hester from Crowded House on drums (the short-haired drummer).

I hope you enjoyed today's '80s Sunday Rewind.  If you have a suggestion for next week, leave it in the comments (if they're working).

live-blogging the Oscars red carpet @ 5

I'll be live-blogging the red carpet starting at 5 Central time (or when I remember to turn the tv on).  Meetcha back here then.

4:59 - The tv is tuned to E! 

5:00 - Seacrest is on the steps of the Kodak theater.  Appropriate, because he's a leprechaun.

5:01 - I thought I'd let you know what I'm wearing for the red carpet.  Black yoga pants by Lane Bryant, Gray v-neck t-shirt by Mossimo for Target, and gray fancy ruffled slippers by Isotoner.  Fancy for the Oscars, yo.

5:04 - Avatar guy says he's wearing a monkey suit.  Ryan says he was "literally living in a hammock after seeing Avatar" -- he obviously doesn't know what literally means.  OMG - Efron busted in on the interview.  He's a cutie in a tux.  I think it's time for a new hair style, Zach.  

5:07 - Seacrest keeps saying "brother" like he's freaking Hulk Hogan.  For the love of the WWE, stop.  Oh, and he's wearing a Burberry tux, like we care.

5:08 - Jay Manuel just said revealing necklines look better on a smaller bust.  I wouldn't know anything about that, Jay.  He's showing the best of what people have worn this year.

5:09 - It's Anna Kendrick from Up in the Air.  Light pink flowy dress.  Mo'Nique stepped on Anna's dress!  Oh boy.  Mo'Nique said "we're nothing but kids with grown up faces."  OMG.  I love her.  Seacrest said the buzz is she's a lock on the Oscar, she said she felt the same when she did Soul Plane.  Mo'Nique is wearing royal blue.  Seacrest is not asking about the gowns.  Boo.

5:16 - What the hell is this commercial with cervical cancer in a perfume bottle?  WTF?

5:17 - It's my nemesis, Mariah Carey.  Nick Cannon says he just sits around 'til the last minute in his drawers while 1000 people get Mariah ready.  Sounds like my life.  Mariah just doesn't look human.  She caught her bracelet on her dress.  The slit in her dress is practically up to her neck.

5:20 - Mickey Rooney!

5:25 - a chick from Avatar is in a lavandar dress.  Seacrest just said "brother" to the mayor of L.A.  I'm going to lose it before this is over.  The top of Avatar girl's dress is verrrry sparkly.  I do not like.  Love the bottom of her dress if it were not purple.  I hate purple.

5:27 - Joel Madden and Nicole Richie are with Ryan.  Joel will be DJing during the commercials or something.

5:29 - I have seen this dress in another color on someone else.  It's the other woman from Up in the AIr.    Do not like the dress, but love the red.

5:31 - I'm sorry if I'm disappointing by not knowing some of the actor's names, but half the time I barely know my own.

5:34- Hey, baby, how you doin', Ryan Reynolds?  How cute is he?  I like that he's wearing a bow tie.  Seacrest just mentioned that he and RR train at the same gym.  OMG. RR is going to film Green Lantern in New Orleans.  I think I'm going to be spending some time in New Orleans.

5:36 - Ivan Reitman  is talking about Up in the Air.  Says he took an Ambien last night and played Xbox.  

5:38 - James Cameron's wife/date/chick is wearing some Grecian goddess dress.  She needs jewelry.  Is she Suzy Amis?  I think she is maybe.  

5:40 - Maggie Gyllenhall and Peter Saaaarrrrsgaaaarrrrd.  They won't back up and show her dress and that's annoying.  Peter's head is shaved.  Hope that's for a movie.  

5:42 - I get Elizabeth Banks confused with someone else, so I'm not sure who she really is.  She's wearing Versace and it's great.

5:43 - It's designer Tom Ford!  He's wearing a boutonniere!  

5:48 - Sigourney Weaver is wearing a one-shouldered red dress with a black bow around the waist.  She says he's pole dancing for her next film.  We have so much in common.

5:49 - Lenny Kravitz looks cool in his sunglasses.  Seacrest said "brother" again.

5:51 - Tina Fey is wearing a Michael Kors one-shouldered black dress.  Very basic.  Says she talked to my boyfriend Alec Baldwin earlier.  Hussy.

5:56 - Diane Kruger from Inglorious Basterds is wearing a very frou frou  cream and black dress.  

5:59 - Sandra Bullock looks interesting.  I love her hair.  She's wearing a champagne colored tight dress.

6:01 - Tyler Perry is talking about how he got Oprah to watch Precious and get it to the screen.  He's wearing a bow tie, love that.  Said Oprah had the dvd of the movie in her purse for a while before she watched it.  See people, Oprah is just like us.

6:03 - Cute little Amanda Siegfried or whatever her name is has on an Aramani dress with a very pronounced bodice.  Kind of weird.

6:04 - Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, and the big guy from The Blindside.  McGraw said "people don't realize how good he is 'cause he's really a 5'8" white guy."

6:06 - Jake Gyllenhal is in a bow tie.  He says he hung out with Jamie Foxx last night.  He's chewing gum, for crying out loud.  Jake says his pocket square is real.  That's a good tip for my male readers, make sure your pocket square is real, do not accept fake pocket squares.  How can he know about pocket squares and yet chew gum on the red carpet?  

6:13 - Miley Cyrus is wearing something that looks like a bustier and tinsel.  Someone please tell me why she's at the Oscars.  Someone?  

6:14 - What on Earth is SJP wearing?  It's bizarre.  She's wearing Channel and the top is made of tin foil.  She was attacked by a bronzer.  Matthew Broderick is adorable.

6:17 - Katherine Bigelow is NO LIE a foot taller than Seacrest.  I love it.  

6:19 - Where is Clooney?

6:25 - It's Matt Damon.  We're getting closer to Clooney!  And a bow tie. I SEE CLOONEY.  He was signing autographs.  Matt is going to play Liberace's "longtime companion" in the Liberace movie.  Do you know how excited I am for THAT?

6:28 - Talk to me, Colin Firth.  Love his voice.

6:28 - It's Queen Latifah!  Now, she looks good in lavandar.  One shoulder.  Clooney busted in on Latifah.  Talk, George.  He says he voted for Jeff Bridges.  How cute is he?  He said Jeff is the Dude.  Bye, George!

6:31 - Meryl Streep says she's in love with Sandra Bullock, just like everyone else in America.  Do not like her bright white dress.  I think she could go with a color.  I want Queen Latifah's dress. 

6:33 - When I was little I had a Barbie with the exact same dress that Jennifer Lopez is wearing.  it's iridescent pink.  Her elfin husband is chewing gum.  What is with these people?

6:38 - Who let Keanu in?  

6:39 - Woody Harrelson just kissed the girl from Precious.  What?  She just said "if fashion was porn, this dress is the money shot."  She fist bumped Keanu.  Jay Manuel is talking about her confidence.  In other words "it's good that she even showed up at her size."  Why couldn't he just say "she looked great!" 

6:43 - Robert Downey, Jr is wearing a blue bow tie.  Okay then.

6:47 - It's Gerard Butler. Hey baby, how you doin'?  He's talking about Jennifer Anniston, but I'm  just thinking, "hey baby."    Wait, come back, Gerard!

6:51 - Oh, it's Jason Bateman.  Hey baby, how you doin'?  So cute.  

6:53 - It's the DUDE!  he really needs to do something with that squirrel on his face.  

6:54 - Charlize Theron let woodland creatures make her dress because woodland creatures never pay attention to the bust and took the train, brought it up, wrapped it AROUND HER BOOBS and called it a dress.  She looks insane.  That's the best thing I can say about it.  

6:58 - Cameron Diaz is in gold.  I can't stand her and I've never been able to put my finger on why.  I do like her dress, maybe if her hair was another color.  

6:59 - It's over, people.  KBF out.

tom cruise auditions for twilight

I don't throw words like "genius" around lightly, but come on -- this is pretty genius.

Celebrity Auditions: New Moon from Electric Spoofaloo on Take180.com