Mark my words: Huffington Post will run the headline "Rock You Like a Herman Cain!" within the next 6 months.
Herman's brother's name is Thurman. Really. I can't make this stuff up.
I read about a study today that linked exercise to early menopause. I speak for no one but myself when I say: NOPE. A couple of weeks ago I read that women who drink several cups of coffee per day are less likely to become depressed. Double NOPE.
The carhop from Sonic who brought me a drink last week was named Amgerica. Like America with a G 'cause she's gangsta.
The oldest child has to write down how many watts are in each room for homework. 4th grade is going to kill me. We have approximately 420 light bulbs in our house. This may take all night. What if I had the child write on her homework that we're Amish and only use candlelight?
I went to the dermatologist today. I didn't sleep past 3am this morning because I was worried about skin cancer. My doctor only took one mole off. WITH A RAZOR BLADE. It was like ghetto dermatology, but in the nicest facility ever. Oh, and my paper dress only covered half my body. I think it's time I took up a cause and it's going to be true one-size-fits-all paper dresses. This may win me the Nobel Peace Prize because it will lead to women not getting mad when their paper dress doesn't fit in their doctor's office.
I hate the phrase "wheelhouse."
There is a new GOP debate tonight. At this rate, there will be one debate for each Republican in America before the nominee is locked in. I hear that the next debate will be held next Tuesday morning at George's Grill in Shreveport and my Aunt Charlene will moderate. Try the grilled cheese. Another debate will be held on the Saturday before Mardi Gras on Anderson Cooper's Endymion parade float. Whoever catches the most beads will be declared the winner.
I could go for some nachos.
