35 things I know

So, today I'm 35 and I thought I'd make a list of things I've learned after being on Earth for 34 years.   And yes, I did think about copying last year's 34 Things and adding one, but I didn't because that's the kind of blogger I am.  Here we go. 

1. For the most part, people are too worried about themselves to notice what you're worried about.
2. Just when you start loving a magazine it will cease publication.
3. Silly Putty does bad things to clothes in a dryer.
4. Old friends are great.
5. Sometimes the cat doesn't come back and that may be a good thing if the cat was psycho.
6. Just when you think you have someone figured out they will surprise you.
7. Laptops and water do not mix.
8. Even if you try not to get your hopes up, you can still be disappointed.
9. Denim jackets are always great.
10. Things  can always get worse.  Birds can lay eggs in your mailbox and then attack you.
11. Getting something off your chest can be freeing, but it can break your heart as well. 
12. The great outdoors ain't always so great.
13. Don't die on the same day as someone more famous than you.
14. It's now okay to talk to yourself in the car or in public, people will think you've got one of those Bluetooth thingies.
15. It takes 3 people to get a properly fitting bra.  Or maybe I'm just that fabulous.
16. Pedicures are not a luxury.
17. Love is a many splintered thing.
18. It's not always about what you think it is.
19. You can't "unsend" a Facebook message.  For realz.
20. If you're tired all the time, get your blood checked.
21. When you cancel your Nutrisystem order, make sure you really canceled it.  
22. No matter what the commercials say, the pre-packaged meals are not yummy. 
23. Even when you lock the door, the middle child can find a way in.
24. You don't have to be friends with everyone (or if you were a biatch to me back in the day, I will ignore your Facebook friend request and you should know better).
25. There are no such thing as fairies and woodland creatures will not show up to clean your house even if you sing cheerily out the window.
26. If you sing cheerily out the windows, neighbors may look at you strangely.
27. The neighbors are probably weirdos anyway.
28. Having a superfantastic memory isn't such a good thing sometimes.
29. If you ignore the mailbox because of the attack birds guarding it, then the terrorists have won.
30. Give people nicknames, it's simple and makes life fun.
31. Ruffle a few feathers.  Ruffles are in this year.
32. A new purse can cheer you up.  Especially if it has stripes and a matching wallet.
33. When your parents told you your childhood pet went to live on a farm they were big fat lying liars who lie.
34. Children do not know what "sleep in" means.
35. If all else fails, the Hoff makes everything better.  Click to Hoffify.